Sunday, October 3, 2010

My First Kiss

So there I was, sitting in the movie theater with Stevie, watching the new movie Easy A, with my head on her shoulder, when a ridiculous amount of nostalgia hit me like a train.  I sat straight up because I didn't want the inevitable tears to spill onto Stevie's shirt.  What brought it on, I think, was that in the movie, the love interest Todd asked her if he could kiss her.  On the last day of May in the year twenty ten, I was at the park with Blaze.  My arms were around my knees and his arms were around me when he turned my head and whispered, "Can I?"  The same question had been asked an hour before, but this time I knew the answer. Scared to death but full of longing, our heads twisted, our eyes closed, and our lips met. Like the perfect moment of finding the puzzle pieces that fit together, our lips stayed, and it was magic. I was so innocent that night, and that one occurance that our friendship had building up to since the previous February blew my world off its axis and into his.  Our broken pieces fused and together we made one whole, beautiful person in love.  It was so amazing, the best night of my existense.  Since then, we've had so many kisses that that special one faded into the past.  But it will always and forever be special to me. 
So there I was in the movie theater, with the tears dripping off my nose and cheeks, staring at the screen but seeing that night.  Someone said something funny and Stevie laughed and I forced something out just slightly off time, and I wasn't sure if she had noticed the tears in the dark.  I took deep breaths and tried a smile.  Let's just say, it's been a slightly melancholy weekend.  I've spent it with friends but I still... I'm still melancholy.  Tomorrow's a new day and some tomorrow will bring me a new love.  For now, I can live in the past and remember the beautiful times.

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