Sunday, October 31, 2010

Have You Seen This Boy???

"dear cutie pie, i love you so so much! we must keep meeting at the park because I'm going to die without you! I have a feeling you are going to write more than me so I shall keep writing until you are done. I love you sweetie! sorry about the bad handwriting. oh and i need to tell you the favor before i forget!
i love you
i love you
i love you!

[yearbook-may 28]
"and thus...with nothing but pure silence: the fear that the one he loved is dead sets in. Thou noble man wanted, more than anything, to die. but because of the small promise to his beloved, he lies awake. awake from death. and cries a small but powerful cry to his love's own life. that he can only hope she still posses...Je t'aime. :*"
[may 5]
"goodnight. :) I think my love for you grew again today. :) I love you so so much. with all my heart and soul. you are my love. and you will always live inside me. :) my life will forever be more colorul thanks to you. ;) you saved my life more than once, and i have to thank you for that. i love you i love you i love you. :) sweet dreams my love.
[may 11]
(are you okay, Blaze?)
"No, I want you to text me more! But the only way to do that is to have two conversations...So I'm fine. :)"
[May 5]
"Laura, honey, sweetie, my love... I love you more."
[May 11]
These are just a couple of the texts I wrote down last May. This is BEFORE he kissed me. BEFORE we officially said it was romantic. we both were kidding ourselves when we were saying it wasn't. I used to have more of these but I threw them away after the breakup.  These were on a sheet that I found under my yearbook.  They made me BAWL.  My life back then...was so beautiful.  Every day, every night, I was showered with love and smiles and someone who fully and truly cared about me.  All of my friends could see how happy I was then.  Ask anyone.  I would skip from meeting him in the halls after english and giving/receiving a long, beautiful hug.  I would skip to math and be so happy and full of laughter and smiles, all through geometry!  I was happy all day, purely content with a boy who was my best friend.  Adding killed our beautiful friendship, even though we had both been thinking about loving beyond friendship [though we never admitted it to each other].  I'm so glad our relationship happened because I learned so much and I loved the beautiful parts, but I miss this friendship, this beautiful, soul sibling relationship we had with each other.  It was tru love.
....Have you seen this boy? Missing for over a month now. Over two months now.  Deeply missed.
I miss this boy. This boy I used to know.
Je t'aime, mon petit chou. :*

No comments:

Post a Comment