Thursday, September 30, 2010

Baby I Like It!

Ha, that song... Do you remember that song, Blaze? Do you remember playing it on your phone as we walked by Freedom? Our hands held tight together, our shoulders bumping together every now and then?  Do you remember playing it and telling me to listen to the lyrics, and us having a good laugh when we decided to make it "our song"?  That was a fun time. Beautiful times, that's all I have with you. Beautiful and perfect.  Looking back on them does not make me sad. Maybe a little nostalgic, but truly, they bring that smile that you loved to my face. I loved those times. I love thinking about them. Because they get me excited for the next time I fall in love. Thanks Blazie. (:
Love, StarFish.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

You'll regret ignoring me. (:

My dearest, loveliest Blaze,
You currently do not talk to me. Especially after I broke things off between us. And that's actually quite alright. I miss my old best friend but people do have to move on sometime. I just thought I'd say, I've thought a lot about how I feel for you after you told me you weren't in love anymore, and I'm not either. I love you just as much as I did when we were in love, but it simply isn't romantic anymore. I can still see us hugging, and you holding me while I cry, and I can see you telling me I'm beautiful and I can see us running through flowers, hand in hand, singing together and laughing and simply loving one another, but I can't see us kissing like we used to. I can't see us being romantic ever again. Not next summer, when the old you comes back and realizes what you let go. I can see us staying best friends. but that is up to you, and whether you'll ever want to talk to me. Either way, I'll love you my whole life. (:
Our breakup was probably the healthiest one I'll ever go through.  In fact, and I feel horrible saying this, but my life is better without you anymore. Over the summer, I couldn't say that. I truly needed you then. But you changed. So I forced myself to change too. And now I don't need you.  But now, I don't worry over whether or not you love me, or even want to talk to me. I don't think that I have to punish myself for hurting you when I told you how much I needed you over the week and you weren't there.  Our relationship in the end wasn't fair, and it was bad for the both of us. You were starting highschool. You deserved a clean start.  And my life simply does not need you right now. I'd like to continue being in your life, as your friend, but if not, so be it.  I feel so good about this, Blazie, and I'm sure you understand. I'll stop sending texts in the morning, saying, "I hope you have a great day!" because you obviously don't need them.  I hope they weren't a nuisance while they lasted. oh well. (:
Love, Laura.
ps. You're gonna really regret not talking to me in like two years when I'm off in new york city being a model [thank you, erin the scout, for giving me your card and asking me to call] and you see my face on... something important and you remember what good times we had and you'll wish we were still friends but you'll have missed your chance.  You'll really regret it then. Just wait.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

One special person In Australia:

Two people are on the opposites sides of the world right now.
and they're sharing a smile.
so smile big. and we can all share smiles. pass the smile along, and soon enough... We are all smiling.
I love you, aussie. (:

A beautiful Day.

Sometimes, you're sitting at the end of a day full of chocolate, reading, and smiles, and you think...
wow. Life is so beautiful.
Love, StarFish
ps. I hope you make your life as beautiful as I made today.

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Most Important Picture

Take pictures of moments.
Take pictures with people you love.
Take pictures to remember.
Take pictures of the good times.
[but not of the bad. who wants to remember those?!]
Take pictures of love.
Posed pictures can be nice,
But candid is always more interesting.
Joyful moments can not be posed.
But they can be remembered.
Do you take pictures of statues, and buildings? What use is that?
Take pictures of moments. Moments to remembered. Moments with friends.
Because otherwise, when you grow old and are trying to remember,
you'll have a bunch of pictures of a bunch of people sitting and smiling at the camera.
No story at all.
You won't remember.
Take pictures of moments.

Secret One

Secret Number One:
I've always secretly wished that the mirror in my dance studio was one of those mirrors [the word is eluding me] that is a mirror from one side, but you can see through on the other, and that some handsome french/italian/australian boy is watching me dance alone with the lights off and music mysteriously drifting from nowhere [which has never happened, but when there is a guy there, it will] and think it beautiful.
Love, StarFish

True Beauty

I type in beautiful into google images, to see what I get.  The first eight pages are filled with- more or less- a bunch of models. That are pretty. But they are fake. They are not true beauty. The beauty on the outside is superficial. People always tell me that I'm beautiful. I absolutely disagree. I have decent looks and a cute smile, but when it comes to beauty... I'm still working on that. I only know a couple of people that are truly beautiful. They don't realize it. People like me realize what beautiful is and are always striving to achieve it. Then you have the people who are completely ignorant of true beauty. Sometimes they are nice people who just don't think about that. However, more often than not, they are the people at school that look down on everyone else.  They are the ones that slather on makeup, put in extension, straighten and dye their hair all day, text all day, talk all day, call themselves ugly and fat to others simply to hear everyone disagree.  They all think they're hot and sexy. Well, guess what? I don't want to be hot. I don't want to be sexy. I want to be beautiful. And that is what I'm working to achieve. When you say I'm beautiful, and I disagree, it's not because I think I'm ugly because, I'll admit it, I don't think I'm ugly. Plain and simple. Some people would look down on me because of that, well, sorry. I disagree because I am trying to be beautiful. I am striving for it.  Somedays I am, somedays I'm not. We all have true beauty in us. No one I know lets it out twenty four seven. But there are a couple of people that not only let it shine as much as possible, but they share it.  And those people are beautiful. When you give away your beauty, you are beautiful. Amen.

Love, StarFish.

Trapped, Isolated and Depressed
go read, please. Think about it. Smell the air fresher, and don't take that newly baked cookie for granted. Be happy that you are able to be happy.

Love, StarFish

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Harvest Moon

Addy. Friends. Nature. Love. My cat. Smiley stickers. Finished homework. Fuzzy slippers. My dance bag. Dance in general. People who read. People who sing. People who dance. Strangers who smile back. Strangers who wave back. Friends who text me. Starry nights. The harvest moon. Music. Grass. Butterflies. Life. Ex's who are friends. New love. New couples. Miley Cyrus. Pillow cases. Glow in the dark stickers. Compliments. Quotes. Smiling. Laughing. Winks. Happiness. Clouds. birds. Cute posters. Giving something away. Feeling good.
I want to be an inspiration. I try to be an inspiration. I love my inspirations and there are certainly more than that. I get inspired at the weirdest times.
Love, StarFish.

This One's For You

This one's for you, Nyah.
I've always been that awkward girl coming into your studio when you were at your peak. You're in that circle of friends in our studio that I'm trying and trying to work myself into, but I just always feel like the outsider. Individually, I'm a sorta friend to all. but if I were to leave, not many would notice or care. However, I've always looked at you and thought, why can't I dance like her?  You're an amazing dancer. You can hip hop like no one's business, but you are also at the very top in ballet. You completely excel at jazz and lyrical and contemporary and modern and any other dance there is. You're flat in splits. You're so amazing and beautiful to me, even though to you, I'm the weird tall girl in the corner, breathing hard, hair falling out, trying to push her leg higher and higher and not coming close to where yours is. I look at your pictures on facebook, and you're just so cool. You don't try and you don't have to. Sometimes you are doing a secret smile and you seem so mysterious. Other times you're just doing a peace sign, and that says it all.  When you're smiling, or laughing, everyone wonders what joke they're missing out on. Don't you ever put yourself down.  Not that I'd know if you did, but simply because you just deserve more.

This one's for you, Addy.
I've always secretly wanted to be your friend.  Last year, I would see you walking down the hallways with your bag on your hip [even when we weren't supposed to have bags] and I wondered how you could get away with anything.  I'd see you laughing with a bunch of guys, laughing with a bunch of girls, or just simply laughing and I'd wish I were laughing with you. When we were sluffing act two rehearsal that one time for Joseph, and you, me, and dani were talking, I was so amazed that you were talking to me.  and when I started talking, you looked at me and listened. That was so amazing to me.  In my yearbook, you wrote, "You have no idea how much you mean to me."  When I read that, I had no idea what you meant.  I could only assume that you wrote that in a bunch of people's yearbooks simply to be writing something, and that made me sad.  I wished you had meant it.  Then we started talking on facebook and we got tighter and you said, I think we should be sisters. That made me so happy. I was so happy.  I'm still so happy that you're my friend and that you talk to me every night. tell me everything. I love it, and I love you. Thank you for giving me confidence.

This one's for you, Stevie.
Boys are jerks, you can't get around it.  But I love you.  I'll always be here. you know that's true.  You should find the guy that I'll approve of and maybe he won't break your heart, yes? :)

This one's for you, Blaze.
I love you.

Love, StarFish.

Kiss Me

Taire Et De Me Baiser.
Cállate Y Bésame.
σκάσε και το φιλί μου
Shut Up And Kiss Me.

The Mirror

there's a frame, by the bed
painted blue.
in the frame, looking in,
is my sister.
I see her every morning,
and every night.she gets in the way of seeing myself.
she tells me I'm stupid,
she tells me I'm ugly,
that I'll never find love.
she tells me her truth
is the only real one,that I shouldn't listen to the rest.
then one morning, he was there,where my sister couldn't get to.
it changed me.
I told my sister, next time I saw her,
to get out of the way.
she did.

and I am beautiful.

Just Like Magic

I watch the movies. I watch the chick flicks, where the girl is in despair, thinking about the guy or being depressed and she doesn't think she can live anymore. Then, like magic, he appears. He reachs out and holds her while she cries into his shoulder, and her world is right again. I remember that night, that summer night, where everything was going wrong. I was crying at the park. And like magic, he appeared. He was there. He held me and walked me home and he loved me. He was the perfect boyfriend. He was my perfect boyfriend. The irony is, it's so much worse tonight, and there's no chance of him magically making it better. Especially since he doesn't even have the time to talk to me.