The deep end is enchanting until you start drowning in it.
We spin ourselves in circles that keep getting tighter and tighter, until we've made ourselves into a coil so tight that we don't remember how to bend, and then a catalyst comes along and stretches out the whole system and the bouncing around seems completely harmless until you hit your last wall and realized how many aches you now have to deal with, and all of a sudden being a neat coil seems like so much of a better idea again,
so I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes we have to forget limits in order to better establish them.
What I'm saying, is that it's okay to make mistakes if they help clear up your doubts. It's okay to try something for the sake of knowing you will never try it again. It's okay as long as you know how to deal with the consequences, if you can handle dealing with the consequences. You'll be okay. Everything will be okay. You can be who you want to be and you can change whenever need be, and you can stop talking to someone if they are not good for you and you can start talking to others in hopes that they will be because that's just life. It's just life to move through people and experiences and learn what you can and just keep moving. It's when we stop that there's a problem, so don't let yourself stop. Don't let yourself get stuck in the past because it will never be as good as you can make right now. Sorry to always turn cliche, but life is a beautiful, blessed thing, and even in the deepest part of your personal deep end it's important to keep that in mind.
The moon may turn black for a night now and then, but light always seeps back in.
love always, laura elizabeth.