Before we all fall.

Most of the time you just don't know how and why the threads are looped together, and that's okay.

Do a good thing and something bad happens.

Do a bad thing and something good happens.

Do nothing and everything explodes.

[Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver.  My favorite book.]

How different we would act if we knew it were our last day.

How different everything would be and everything would seem.

Our problem isn't that we're afraid of death, it's that we're afraid of goodbye.  Who wants to say goodbye to the sights and the sounds and the feelings and most of all, the people?  The other people that we connect with because secretly, we're all the same?  And yet, we're all so different.  How could anyone say goodbye to the people that wait for you to get inside of your house at eleven thirty at night, and then let you hang out in your car for half an hour because the garage code isn't working and alex doesn't get home until midnight? [Thank you, Connor.]  How could anyone say goodbye to singing along to songs you don't know and stepping on the bright green moss around your pond?  How could we say goodbye to the sun rising in the morning or the Friday nights where you don't have to worry about what time it is?  There is so much to see if you look for it and so much to hear if you listen for it and so much to feel if you're ready for it.  What does it really matter if he'll never like you back?  At least you know you can feel for someone.  At least you know you have hope.  At least you know life moves on.  So what if he kissed more than you that week?  Does it matter now, when you don't feel for him anymore?  Give more than you get, smile more than you frown, listen a little too less than you should and do more than is neccessary.  Hold tighter before you let go, don't leave too early but don't stay too long either because there's too much to experience and too little time.  No one really lives forever, even though we all live like that.  So worry less and live more because nothing is going to matter when you're dead.

After all, the only reason we say goodbye is so that we can come back again.

love always, laura.

Birthdays.

The last fourty four minutes of being fourteen.

Fourteen brought me...insanity.  Last year on my birthday, I danced with Voldemort.  We had a big thing going on then.  Later, I had my first kiss while fourteen.  My first breakup, my first heartbreak.

I've gained so many amazing friends, and lost a few as well.  I'd like to regain a couple of those.  One in particular.

I've loved so much, I've cried so much.  I've laughed, I've frowned, I've smiled and danced and fell and got on my feet again and again.

I broke my first bone.

So here's to fourteen.

And here's to fifteen!!

So, so, so much love,
Laura.

If you even still read my blog, here's the poem I promised. Even if it isn't about what you wanted it to be, and more about what we were.

Were

we were pictures on the swings
setting on simpler times
sweet passing though now bitter.
once a hug, now
barely a glance,
old opinions turned by new friends
and new opinions found by old friends.
we were crayons and coloring books,
and letters between semicolons and numbers.
once one space between,
but now many returns.
we were stupid video games,
and movies and makeovers,
and ice cream and clothes
and friends.
new by chance,
best by love,
but why forgotten?


You know who you are.

To the person the poem is about,

If you still read my blog, let me know you saw this.  Or at least text me and say it was a terrible poem.  Give me some sign that says you read it.  Or don't.  Leave me wondering.  I care but you don't, so I'll pretend.  Sorry it isn't a happy poem about smiles.

To all my other followers,

I love you guys.

StarFish.