Tuesday, October 30, 2012

We did math together today.

Darlin' it was good
never lookin' down
and right there where we stood
is holy ground

I just... I remember.
I don't want to go back and I don't want to skip forward,
because who would have known those nights would be the best of my life?
I've had amazing nights because they were so incredibly mundane and cliche,
but so unique and everything I need,
and I don't realize it now,
but these are the best nights and days of my life,
and it's okay if I work for some of them,
and it's okay if some of them are spent alone,
and it's okay if they don't go as planned
because they'll still be the best I have to live for,
and this is the oldest I've ever been and the youngest I'll ever be again,
and I want to stick a bookmark in this year, in this month,
that says, I remember and these are the best nights of my life.
Thank you everyone for being a part of them, thank you, thank you. Thank you.
You're a part of me. He's a part of me. She's a part of me.
I am my experiences and my experiences are all of you and thank you and I love you.
love always, laura elizabeth.

Sunday, October 28, 2012


I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
with nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

mom: "It's not that I don't like your pumpkins, I just think you should carve things that are more halloweeny"
me: "Because something called 'Deathly Hallows' isn't Halloweeny at all ... Also, Harry Potter's parents died on Halloween."
lindsey: "How do you know that?"
alex: "She's a geek."
me: "I prefer nerd."
random blog reader: "So glad I stumbled across your blog something something!"
me: "Yep, girls are pretty crazy. Like the whole preference thing! Girls ask so early it's insane! ... Like take you, I bet you were asked over the Summer or like two months ago or something."
guy I want to take to preference: "No, I actually haven't been asked! and I am pretty positive I won't be either!"
me: "....that is a silly thing to be positive about."
him: .....
me: .....
(me: I actually feel fine about this.)
ballet teacher: "So..."
me: "Yeah, I'll be there Thursday, definitely."
love always, laura elizabeth.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

The truth, bare and unchanged.

Brushing my teeth,
thinking about it all,
then starting to bawl.
That is my life.

Yes, I miss it.
Ballet, I mean.
It's been about five weeks and I've said it feels good to have the extra time but I'm just now noticing no, it isn't.
I miss it so much that I cry,
and maybe I don't want to be told I don't care enough anymore.
If I didn't care, don't you think I'd be there instead of here?
Sorry, I was going to not be vague here, but it's hard.
It's almost one in the morning and tomorrow's a school night,
and it's been a fine day,
but it hasn't been a fine week
and it hasn't been a fine five weeks
and I'm just crying because of it.
I'm just crying.
I'm crying because he still cares but we can't anymore,
we just can't. We can't.
We haven't let go but we have to, we have to.
I've held on so long,
but that's because he cares and he cares so much
and I need someone to care about me
and I need to not need someone to care about me
but I don't know how
and I'm just crying. I'm just crying.
I just want to go back to Ballet.
I want to go back to when I first got my pointe shoes
and I didn't know what it was like to be loved
and what it was like to have to learn to let go
and it's a good thing I can type without looking
because I can't even see the screen anymore
I'm a ballerina, really, please, aren't I?
love always, laura elizabeth

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Tie Dye.

So, whatever, one of the best nights of my life, NBD.
Addy: "Just make out already!"

And right now, I'm just glad there are a million pictures of everything in the world.
Maybe not of Taft and me, last night, dancing and living,
but of things like cats in top hats and shoes.
I'm glad there are a million songs waiting to be discovered,
especially if you discover them on a cd from a good friend.
I'm glad there are a million flowers to be smelled,
and trees to be climbed,
and stars to count,
and pinteresting things to make,
and I'm especially glad there are a million people I've met,
a million people I know,
and a million people waiting for me in the next million tomorrows.
go dancing.
love always, laura elizabeth.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


It's fading from my arm, but it won't fade from my memory.

Those moments; every moment. Every person.
Lessons and tributes dripping down our faces
buried feelings uncovered and vulnerable,
hearts plain on our striped sleeves.
Every second, every laugh, every word. Every tear
Us, each other, the audience,
in memory and gut-wrenching love.
Never Forget.
love always, laura elizabeth.