Wednesday, April 27, 2011


The last fourty four minutes of being fourteen.

Fourteen brought me...insanity.  Last year on my birthday, I danced with Voldemort.  We had a big thing going on then.  Later, I had my first kiss while fourteen.  My first breakup, my first heartbreak.

I've gained so many amazing friends, and lost a few as well.  I'd like to regain a couple of those.  One in particular.

I've loved so much, I've cried so much.  I've laughed, I've frowned, I've smiled and danced and fell and got on my feet again and again.

I broke my first bone.

So here's to fourteen.

And here's to fifteen!!

So, so, so much love,

Friday, April 22, 2011

Relationships between ANYONE are like tandem bikes; it's a lot easier to stay up when both people make an effort.

My dear friend who gave me the dolphin necklace:

I miss you.

~   ~   ~
On a happier note, today is Earth Day.  I love Earth Day.  It's a chance to thank the Earth.  While I was too busy to do anything good, I did spread the word of peace.  Let's stop wars and start love.  Let's stop fighting and start smiling.  Stop littering, stop wasting water and paper, stop making your mom drive you one neighborhood over.  There is such a thing as bikes.  We only get one Earth, let's preserve it.
More than that, my beliefs in God involve nature in the most intimate way.  I believe that He IS nature, and that he is everything.  This is called Pantheism;  The belief that we are all manifestations of God, that he doesn't have a particular personality.  Pantheistics often recognize God in nature.  Which basically defines my beliefs on a whole.  This way I believe that on Earth Day we are not only thanking the Earth, but we are giving back to God.  So thus I say, HAPPY EARTH DAY!!  (:

Friend this was originally titled to:  Do you even still read my blog?

ah well--
Much Love, StarFish.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer.

I got a reminder on my phone from forever ago today.  It was about Blaze's dad's passing fifteen (?) years ago today.  I texted him, and said I was sorry.  But he got angry with me.  No joke.  "Don't you know how to leave me alone, did you think I wanted to be reminded?"  etc.  I guess that's what I get for trying to be nice.  After going back and forth, with me trying to show I am trying to be nice, I got tired of him swearing at me and getting all angry so I said, "You are just as charming as you were when I first met you."  And didn't reply after that.

I think basically, the thing I am most sorry for, is that he didn't have a strong father figure to teach him his rights and wrongs.  Like for instance, it's wrong to play two girls at the same time. 

But I know now that I never deserved that.  And if he was going to do what he did, he doesn't deserve me.  He gets mad when I try to be nice, he gets mad when I get mad.  There is no winning.  So, even though I gave up on him a long time ago, I will not text him again.  Even if it's to say I'm sorry about his dad because now I know he can twist that into something rude that I did to him.

I am done with him.

And by extension, boys.
At least for a while.

Boys, be nice to girls.

Girls, be nice to boys.  ...But don't believe EVERYTHING they say.

Love, Starfish.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Because we're Awesome and We are Dancers.

Dance is the best feeling in the world.  Dance is the best thing in my life.  Without it I'd be some uninspired and fat bum.  It's the best thing when I find someone who shares the passion just as fully with me.

Love, StarFish.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Monday, April 11, 2011

Everyone dies, but not everyone lives.

"The first time I saw you smile,

My eyes said: She's beautiful..
My brain said: jakllj;ljijerloafjolfkjld
My heart said: Dibs."
-letters to crushes

When I read that, my heart melted.  Literally.

Honestly?  Winning me over is so incredibly easy.  If only there were a guy who would want to know that.

...I hate boys.

I fear of not living.

Love, Starfish.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not why ships were built.

There is a point in time when you know you must move forward.  Until you hit that point, you will live your life half alive.  There are times when you are lost and you believe there is only one person that can help you through.  Until you realize that person is yourself, you will remain lost.

There are times when everything is relentless.  When you are never enough.

There are times when you will be sad.  When, as much as you struggle, you cannot get your head above that line.

There are times when life isn't fair.  When no matter what you do, you cannot do anything right.

But there is a point in time when you know you must move forward.  There is a point in time you can believe fully in the choice you make and you will follow it through.

"You're".  But it's fine.

With my everlasting Love,


Saturday, April 2, 2011

April Showers Bring May Flowers.

I love April for it's weather and all the performances and my BIRTHDAY and how it's the second to last month of school. (I don't count June.)  New this year:  I am so different than I was last year.

I highly dislike April for all it's stress and how I can't stop getting older (even if I wanted to.  Which eventually I will I'm sure) and how it will inevitably snow and ruin the Springiness and how it means there's at least a-whole-nother month before Summer vacation.  New this year:  The memories of everything last year at this time.

I find it funny that everything about April has a positive and a negative side.

Dang.  I need some more dresses. (:

Love, StarFish.