Saturday, December 4, 2010

Pessimistic Much?

On one of my favorite cyber-haunts, smithteens, there is a couple.  She told him about the site.  SharkBait and HeartIsKept.  They're cute together, for sure, always posting cute memoirs and forums and expressing their love in their comments and everything.  Sound familiar?  If not, then it's the same with how it was with Blaze and me.  I told him about the site.  We made cute memoirs and forums and expressed our love in many comments.  Then, it all went down how it did, and he deleted his account.  Which is just as well now, but it wasn't at the time.  I guess I wanted to be able to look back over what he had said about me, and remember that for some point in my life, someone had me on their mind all the time like I had him on mine.  When you delete your account, all your memoirs, forums, and comments disappear too, so on some stuff he would comment on, it looks like I was having a conversation with myself.  I made a new account anyway.
Back to SharkBait and HeartIsKept.  I am so happy for them, do believe me.  But some of the stuff he says is a lot like what Blaze would say about me:  "Everyday, waking up still so in love.  Days will turn into months and months will turn into years, and we'll be together through it all."  That sounds so familiar that it kills me.  I wonder if any other memoirists saw the forums we posted about and to each other and thought the same things that I've been thinking?  That we wish they could stay together forever but we know they won't?  That we know she'll wish she hadn't invited him to the site, because after your not together but you both keep using the site, suddenly you're at a disadvantage and can't actually spill everything on your mind anymore for fear of them seeing it?  Yes indeed.  It's awful and terrible.  Now Blaze and his new love-wasn't that fast?  Apparently he's been flirty with her since the beginning of school.  A couple of weeks before we broke up.  Nice-are both on there, because he told her about the site.  So guess who gets to sit back and see him proclaim his love for her?  Yes.  Me.

I want these tights.  Sooooo.  Badddddd.

Do you match your fingernails to your toes? I don't.
Love StarFish.

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