As of today, to be honest, I feel a little bit more about ripped-up toenail than I do about...
-the waste of four weeks, worrying and wondering
-the hopes of four weeks, wishing and hoping
-the lingering feelings for someone that doesn't want anything
-our conversation on Friday
-....maybe even him, now.
Because, let's be real here. This has been a long time coming. Since Shakespeare Festival, really. When I got to be better friends with more people and realized that there are other good guys besides him, especially one; the one that was completely there for me and still is. Today, there's a quote running through my head: "If you have two guys to choose, pick the second one. If the first guy really had you, you wouldn't have fallen for someone else."
Let's be real here too. I have been falling for a couple weeks now, for someone who is probably too good for me. I see myself as having next to no chance with him, because why me? The only reason I've heard lately is "why not?" and I'm not going to live that way. We'll see. We'll see.
In real life, if you ask anyone I'm close with, they'll tell you that I really did say these next few words: "The more I hang out with my new drama friends, the further away I get from him." This past fall break has been full of these new friends, with minimum contact with him. The contrast is shocking, really. How comfortable and how happy I am with Kristen and Davis and Connor and Suzie and [almost] Benjamin and Elizabeth and everyone else that I missed, contrasted with how stressed and uncertain I was around him. It's time to move on.
Mitchell, you were a good chapter in my life. You introduced me to highschool and you helped me through the initial everything. Unfortunately, you have a lot to learn. Now was not the time but I'm glad I was your first kiss. I'm glad you kissed me, I'm glad I took the risks with you, I'm glad I've known you and I have no regrets. As was the way in round one with me, you've moved on faster and I'm struggling to catch up. It'll be fine and it'll be okay. You're a good guy and I hope you get everything you deserve.
Also... Sorry, but all the drama kids hate you now. My bad.
Sometimes, it's okay to eat dessert for lunch, too.
love always, laura.