I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying.
I'm trying to prove J wrong about me.
I'm trying to understand math.
I'm trying to balance my life out.
I'm trying to eat healthy.
I'm trying to stop trying and just succeed.
Yes, I'm still trying to get over some things some one did to me
that have left me broken and bitter
for over a year now.
I'm still trying to stop letting one person's actions
cloud what everyone else is doing
I'm still trying to understand why I wasn't enough for him.
I'm still trying to understand how he can't feel bad about it.
I'm still trying to understand how to trust another guy.
I'm still trying to understand why the slightest thing sets me off lately
and I'm still trying to understand why I'm crying.
I want to smash my face in a pillow and cry and cry and cry
but instead I get to wake up and get up
like nothing bad ever happened to me
like I think I can sing
like I am confident
like I believe fully in myself
like I know what I'm doing
like I know who I am
like I know what to do
like I know how to do precalculus
Please try to avoid all that emotion vomit up there.
I just don't know why I brought this all up tonight
I just don't know why I'm crying
I just don't know why he picked me
and I'm starting to think he doesn't either