Tuesday, August 23, 2011

"If the sun's not up yet, then why am I?"

That ^^ would be exactly what I was thinking this morning when I woke up five minutes till six, and, thinking I had a couple more hours, snuggled into my pillow only to be rudely brought to reality again by my phone buzzing.  All I could think was, "The sun isn't up.  Why should I be?!  How is this fair?! Six is WAYYYY too early!!  Is this supposed to be happening all year?!"

And then I curled my hair and put on mascara and, finally feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed, skipped out my door to the bus stop with a big group of my friends.  We were actually early to the stop, which isn't something I expect will happen again.

Then I went to class.  I went to french and I understood most of what she said, and I knew no one in the class.  I went to psychology and laughed at the teacher, and I knew no one in the class.  I went to English and sailed through a practice ACT, and knew no one in the class.  I went to lunch, found all my friends, SAW BRAEDON [and was picked up and spun and it was a rush and I think it should happen more often], ate an apple, and then went back inside.  I went to Musical Theater and sat with people I feel completely comfortable with and felt so inspired and I already love my teacher and I knew, or at least had met and sort of got to know, a lot of the people in the class [due to a drama party last Saturday].

So basically, what I learned today was that even if I'm a social pariah/outcast loser in all of my classes, the drama room will always be there as a safe haven.  I will always have J, even if I probably won't make an impression on him like so many do, and I will always have my fellow thespians.

So anyway.  I got on the bus and discovered that if you sit in your own seat and stare out the window aimlessly, no one will bother talking to you.  Which was both nice and kind of depressing.  I mean, a lot of these fellow bus riders are my friends.  But that's okay.

As soon as I got to our stop, I high-tailed it home and worked my butt off on setting up Tate's surprise party-ps, how unfair, because I have always wanted one and guess who has never had one??-and then worked the rest of me off trying to keep ten screaming little boys doing fun games and keeping them from getting hurt or making a mess or hurting each other or getting bored, and suddenly they were all leaving and I was walking out the door for Glee rehearsal.  Then I was dancing and singing and then it was over and I was coming back home and sitting on my bed, looking at the homework I got today and sighing because I promised I wouldn't get behind this year, so I do all of it [well mostly] and then I decide I ought to tell all of you how my first day went, so here goes.

Basically, if every day of this year is going to be like today, I think I'm going to wither away to nothingness.


I gotta say, so far, going back to school is just like me letting go of Blaze last September.  I am shocked and I can't believe it's gone and I'm so disoriented and I honestly don't know anything but what I've lost.

Love, Sophomore.

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