Trying to find the right words to say is like trying to find something that's really hard to do. And then you don't even make sense. Here goes.
In my head, if you had been there, I wouldn't have broken down and cried and told the whole sob story and I wouldn't have told everyone but Chloe to leave me alone and don't look at me because you would have hugged me. Also, in my head, you've heard all the cute songs I love and you know just how to treat me. In my head, tonight you would have kissed me.
In my head, you snuck out just now and I walked out the front door and you held me until I got positive about going to Colorado tomorrow. In my head, you made me not dread the moment I turn out the light and think about last Summer and then sleep and wake up and have to go to Colorado and leave everyone for a week. In my head, when I get back, we spend every day together, enjoying the last week of Summer.
In my head, you didn't go on a date last night. You asked me on the date and we had a grand time and then I wouldn't have even cried tonight because I would have had you.
In reality, we talk a lot about hanging out, but it never happens.
In reality, you had a lifeguarding party.
In reality, you don't read my blog or listen to my music [unless I tell you to].
In reality, I told you basically what happened and now you're asking me if I miss him or the feeling and I'm feeling so stupid to tell you the feeling because what if he finds out it's because I want the feeling with him?
In reality, I don't actually make much sense.
In reality, I am being totally negative about going to Colorado tomorrow. I need to just face that I am going and I need to make myself believe I'll have a good time because I will.
In reality, I need to re-sheet my bed.
[in reality, I always blog when I need to do the above.]
Also, I feel like I need to say something about me being so lucky to live where I do, because it gives me such amazing friends. Some have friends that are snooty and rude and aren't true friends and it reminds me that I have the best friends in the world. Please don't forget me this week.
I think you should have kissed me .... Actually, I think you should have came tonight and then kissed me.
p.s. i love owls and maybe you too.