Monday, September 23, 2013

Night Owl.

Say what you need to say.

It's only because of how much I care about the stardust dripping from lamp posts that I've noticed how little you care about the storms dripping down my face, and it's only because of how much I loved it when you played me the piano that I noticed my piano hasn't been played since.

Have some of my words stuck to you, like yours to me? I can't shake them off. I can't peel them off. I can't scrub them off, though God knows I've tried. I'm trying. I will always try but you are the one who showed me how much energy has to be put into something that will last. I've spent so much of my energy on you, for so long. I've spent so much energy on all of you. It's only because of how little energy I get back that I've noticed how much energy I've spent on all of you. And I can't anymore. I can't give energy without receiving any, because that is why I keep burning out. That's why I saw spots this morning, and why I couldn't stop shaking, and why I almost threw up every time I opened my mouth. It's because of all the energy I don't have to expend on you anymore. I have much more important things to spill my energy into every day than you. 

Watch out, darling. Watch yourself. Your cheeks are beginning to crack from the over-concentration of salt, and the colors of your eyes are beginning to look permanently green. Your pillow is beginning to stain black where your eyelashes lay, and there is always hair stuck under your fingernails from clutching your head too tight. Your eyebrows are starting to stay creased, love, so be careful; my mirror can only hide so much. Don't become so stagnant. Don't forget to breathe. Don't let yourself become stone.

love always, laura elizabeth.

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