Breaking: the Ups and Downs.

I was unwritten of, I was unthought of, even by myself. Who does that?

And we were more, more than the meanest ghost, more than a spirit, more than alive,

now, with Harry Potter running through my head like a song usually is,

I hope to God it was the right choice,

because oh I miss him now and I'm going through the breaking blues,

the break ups and the break downs,

I've had both in the past couple days.

I'm terrified,

I'm terrified.

I'm terrified I'm moving into a new stage that's going to get me into a lot of trouble with myself,

a stage of something I'm not but others might make me into,

but maybe it's good and maybe it's time I throw caution to the winds and not care,

I'm just terrified I'm making a mistake.

I was safe, I am not now.

But, as a favorite quote goes,

A ship is safe in the harbor, but that's not why ships were built.

So...

I guess that's it,

I promise everything won't be about this,

I just can't get all the music out of my head,

I can't get the images out,

The glow in the dark stars so precariously put up

sitting in the trash,

the half eaten box of chocolates guiltily sitting on a headstand,

I see them every night like I see your locket in the morning and through the day,

hold on to me but also let me go.

The moments stolen that are rushing back and with a vengeance.

I was safe, now I'm not, but I wasn't built to be safe, I was built to have life,

what if life is him?

I knew it, you knew it (I thought), we all knew it was coming,

but maybe you didn't after all,

but you'll be fine,

you already have three new girls to take out,

and more coming,

and I have a new life coming up whether it's right or wrong,

we'll see how it goes.

Yes I miss you,

and yes I miss you too,

And I love the both of you and I don't intend to let either of you go,

But grips might have to be loosened,

I'm a ship built to sail and I'm going someplace new and

I'm terrified.

I'm terrified.

But I'll be okay and if I get lost, I'll find myself again someday.

Maybe this is what I need?

Thanks for everyone's support. I love you all and you mean so much to me.

love always, laura elizabeth.