Sunday, November 18, 2012

"Don't ask, don't tell" tell-all.

It was bound to happen, really. Like, it was a night three weeks in the making, practically.

It's funny how when some inhibitions let go, some voices of reason come back. Voices of reason that say, "What does it matter if you drive by his street at one in the morning? Is he going to see you? No. So why would you?" And so you don't, despite a million and one times where that didn't matter. Voices of reason that say, "So let him be. Let yourself be."

And of course, letting go of the inhibitions is part of the rules. You give some, you take some, and some just had to go. That's just how you play. And in this game, this boy always wins. It could practically be called his game. It's in how he treats you all night, it's in how he responds barely then completely. It's in the "goodnight" text he sends half an hour later. It isn't coincidence, you know. Sure, he might be thinking about you, but he's thinking about how he can get you to keep coming back, and that's the real reason he presses send. Mitchell has succeeded in making me cynical, people. He's accomplished almost the impossible in making a true romantic see reality.

Another voice of reason- "Why don't you name him on your blog? It's silly. He's just a person." And so I listen tonight, instead of ignoring it, like in the past million and one posts.

He succeeded. You succeeded. I succeeded, but I lost, too.

love always, laura elizabeth.

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