Le Français.

First to let go and still the one holding on tightest, riddle me that.

You can get large stuffed animals for Christmas and you can trick the naive into falling for you but it will never make you not lonely, we are teenagers and we are searching everywhere for people to understand, we condense thoughts into 140 characters and hope they get noticed or cared about or understood, we take a million pictures and display them where everyone goes but very few care, and we just want to be noticed and we just want to be loved, we just want to be a little less lonely, but we are teenagers and lonely is in our job description,

and I have a problem because nothing worth writing was ever thought of but nothing worth reading wasn't thought out, and tonight I'm having a problem connecting the two, and I keep trying to repair the fuses that broke inside of me all that time ago and I just can't, I'm falling right back into the pattern and all I want is to be pulled out this mold I always conform to, but maybe nothing ever came just because you wished for it, we are teenagers and we are the masters of loneliness and we are all so willing to be noticed that we forget to notice everyone else, and maybe there is beauty in insolence that I never saw before but at least I'm trying to learn, maybe there is beauty in being so alone but I always forget to appreciate it while I'm here,

and I don't know how to handle it when I keep smelling you on my skin because I guess all those months outweigh these few weeks, I don't know how to handle it when pushing only ever brought me closer and we're both free and why did I not see this coming, I could scream and I could pull out my hair but I don't have the time to recover, I think every time it will be different but this always ends up happening and

je ne sais pas ce que de faire

je ne sais pas ce que de faire

mais c'est la vie, il passera, et j'espère que vous irez avec lui quand il le fait.

love always, laura elizabeth.