Showing posts with label him and me??. Show all posts
Showing posts with label him and me??. Show all posts

Thursday, February 2, 2012

A penny saved is not much.

Kindly read the following proverbs that were started by a teacher and finished by a class of first graders.  Feel free to laugh out loud.

I hope you enjoyed those as much as I did... So anyway.  Here's the real start to this post.







Love that should happen, love that does happen, love that won't happen, love that used to happen.

I've started this post three times and I still can't figure out how to speak in feelings.

I'm convinced that everything thinks in feelings and remembers in feelings and words are just the clumsy communication of these feelings, because honestly.  We all feel feelings even though we don't all talk in the same language and maybe if we spoke in feelings the world would be a better place.  Maybe if we could speak in feelings you'd be able to understand what my mouth can't say very well.  Maybe if we could speak in feelings, more people would be in love and less people would hate.  Maybe we would all be a little less broken.

Because I've never almost spilled those words out only to push them back in at the last second.  Because I've never spent an entire movie thinking about how close your arm and my head are and would it be weird if I closed the distance.  Because I've never been able to talk intellectually with a guy that I made out with the week before.  Because I've never been asked to a school dance and I don't know what semi-formal is even supposed to mean.  Because I keep dreaming about you.  Because you've put me through so much and I you but we still feel these feelings. Because everytime that we have any kind of contact I am hyper-aware of it. Because even though I never would have guessed it would ever be you for me and me for you, I still think I might love you.

love always, laura elizabeth.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Repetitions, comma splices, and a whole load of ugly.

I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying.
I'M TRYING.

I'm trying to prove J wrong about me.
I'm trying to understand math.
I'm trying to balance my life out.
I'm trying to eat healthy.
I'm trying to stop trying and just succeed.

Yes, I'm still trying to get over some things some one did to me
that have left me broken and bitter
for over a year now.

I'm still trying to stop letting one person's actions
cloud what everyone else is doing
now.

I'm still trying to understand why I wasn't enough for him.
I'm still trying to understand how he can't feel bad about it.
I'm still trying to understand how to trust another guy.
I'm still trying to understand why the slightest thing sets me off lately
and I'm still trying to understand why I'm crying.

I want to smash my face in a pillow and cry and cry and cry

but instead I get to wake up and get up
like nothing bad ever happened to me
like I think I can sing
like I am confident
like I believe fully in myself
like I know what I'm doing
like I know who I am
like I know what to do
and
like I know how to do precalculus







Please try to avoid all that emotion vomit up there.

I just don't know why I brought this all up tonight
I just don't know why I'm crying
I just don't know why he picked me
and I'm starting to think he doesn't either

--laura