Sometimes I think I can chart my life by what I worry about in the dark of night.

Something special is bound to happen.

Something sad is bound to happen.

Something terrible is bound to happen.

Something frustrating is bound to happen.

Something amazing is bound to happen.

Everyone searches for their own private miracle.
We all search for something supernatural,
or incredible,
or unexpected and welcomed.

What most don't realize is
that God gives us a miracle every day.
It's called waking up.

It's called family,
it's called friends.
It's called food and pillows
and limbs and words
and senses and nature
and teddy bears.
It's called books and clothes
and showers and paper.


There's this book I read every now and then,
It's called "Before I Fall."
[Somehow, it's 480 pages are so much easier and quicker to read than the 149 pages of the book I'm supposed to read.]
It's poetry.
It's poetry in the way that life is poetry,
in the way that life is a miracle.

It makes me laugh and smile and cry and
want to live life to every potential
before I wake up dead.
It makes me appreciate what I have
and realize that it's more than most.
It makes me want to meet myself.

Now, anyone who is up this late reading this,
I challenge you to go to sleep
and wake up, knowing it's the most beautiful day
you've had yet.

After all, if you expect to never wake up again, every morning is a wonderful surprise.
Make the most of it.

love, Laura.

let's run away to neverland, we will leave all our fans, 'cause growing up...it hurts.

So after what seems like forever of taking notes on a dumb handbook and reading a book that continually causes me to feel depressed, but forcing myself to read it anyway so it'll be done before it has to be, my head is spinning with the lyrics that my best friend plucked from the stars and my eyes are brimming with what can only be loneliness, regret, or the feeling that I am not enough.  After writing a long post filled with self-pity and sadness, however, I feel drained and silly.  Who am I to complain when I have a roof over my head and food to eat?  So I deleted all the words I wrote and decided to write some different ones instead.

School starts in a week.  I'm less than excited.

Goodnight.

Unfortunately, something I can't ignore is that there are still so many things left on my Summer bucket list.  A couple of them are things I can't do myself.  Why I put things on there that are completely up to others was stupid and I have no idea why I did it but I did and now I have to face the disappointment.  I hate not finishing things.

But tomorrow I will put on a brave face and go and sing for an hour.  I will go and finally do something I have been putting off since my birthday.  I will waste as much time that is left, and then I will go and be my best friend's biggest fan.

Love, Laura.