I'd stop the world and melt with you.

To put things lightly, he got the jar down for me (the few inches he has on me being all that was needed to reach that high shelf in my soul) and even unscrewed the top I put on so forcefully.

And they were delicious, of course.  Every chocolate chip "remember when" and all the same whirlwind feelings of September 24 baked into the dough.
did you feel the breath when I mouthed those three words into your neck?
Sorry for the absence, those who care.

"Owls and Tacos.  Life is good."

love always, laura elizabeth.

Can we dance, real slow? Can I hold you, real close?

in the words of Kelsey:
dhgfhgkjhlk huoughhjfgdhydesteasfghfhjkgkjuh

in the words of Addy:
"and then he kissed me."


in my own words:

...what the ell-hay just happened tonight?!

Just some examples of what's racing around in my mind:

ALKLSNLKNGLHWIUETOIE

why did he kiss me?  did he want to? does he still? was I okay?

am I being cliche?

holy hannah freak oh my gandhi

what's going to happen now?

has he told anyone? does he want to tell anyone? is he happy he did it?

is he happy it was me?

OMGOOMGMOGMOG

does he not want me to tell anyone, like blaze?

how does he feel about it?

what does he think of me? how has he felt of me?

why me?

oh my cheese he had his pick of girls that would've gladly been his first and he picked me

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW?!

am I being obsessive?

...am I being OVERLY obsessive?

oh my gandhi, tonight happened...??

with literally all the love in my heart,

laura.

disclaimer:  I wrote this last night, right after.  Due to a loss of internet [those are becoming far more frequent for my taste] it wasn't able to be posted that moment.  These are all the words from last night, however.

Regret is knowing of your mistakes.

Being taught a lesson in humility by yourself is always a refreshing, if regretful experience.

I just miss my best friends and I feel like I've done wrong by everyone I know,

I just want to feel like I did something right and

that someone is happy because of me

but  mostly

I just want to be held again...

I risked all the progress I made

and have nothing to show for it now

except my regrets

--laura.

Magic is the night sky.

I admit the time is rather unconventional but after inspiration fueled by reading everyone else actually posting, I decided to get off my lazy cyber bum and write the post that has eluded me for the past week...ish.

I saw a shooting star tonight while craning my head back, observing the stars as I always do while blindly making my way towards my house.  I wished.  I told a few special people.  I remembered the last time I saw shooting stars.

There's a month and two days left of summer.

I realize that just about all I've wanted is a Summer romance. [that lasts beyond summer.]  All I've wished for.  Is that petty?  Maybe.  Did that stop me? ....

All I've done is daydream and long to be held.

But I realize that it won't always work out, that you have to wait for the right guy to come along instead of settling for someone else just because you want the feelings again.

So, unless a month and two days is enough time for a boy to fall madly for me, one of the lines on my bucket list will go unchecked:

"Be kissed by someone special."

And I'm slowly making myself okay with that.

love starfish.

Today is Paul.

Because one day, inevitably, you'll realize that there's nothing left to say or do and your best friend has a boyfriend and even though you know it's stupid you feel like he's taking over her life which is ridiculous because you did the same thing to her the summer before and you curled your hair but no one will see it and your dad was only home for four days and you miss him terribly again and the couple guys that you love and would rely on to cheer you up or make you feel better suddenly don't seem to like talking to you or are too busy to ever make plans or text and you feel like you're breaking down more than your three year old phone or your nine year old refrigerator and you text a bunch of people that you love to talk to and only one texts back, and not for very long and you're in such an upset mood that you're writing some terrible run-on sentence that would only make sense to the person who wrote it, but you STILL don't understand any of it because nothing in your life is really making sense anymore and you just want to be held.

And then you remember you have a bike with a basket and a library in biking distance.  As long as there's books, you remember you'll never be alone.

Pretty sure someday I'll be married to a book.  They're the only ones that are always there for me, and they're the only ones that are predictable and comfortable and would never let me down or cancel our plans.  It's almost like they exist purely to be there for me.  Plus I trust them.

It's rather unfortunate that the qualities of my books are ten notches above nearly all the people I know.

And you realize your three best friends are all busy and can't talk or swing by and you wish that you had a boyfriend to come and make everything better and you know that tomorrow your nanny will ask if you're okay and you will feel stupid because it's just a passing feeling that will be gone by the time she asks and besides there's only a few people that could truly make you feel better in the moment but you know that it will never happen and it just depresses you more.

I'll see you all tomorrow.

love, laura.

ps. then you realize you haven't named your stupid pity post and decide to call it paul because of your best friend who's with her boyfriend.

Being single doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're strong enough to wait for what you really deserve.

Yes, it's been over a week since I last posted.
Yes, it's because my netbook hasn't been working.
...get off my back.

Right now, I feel an overwhelming sensation to cry,

laugh, scream,

giggle, smile, love, kiss,

die,

and stretch.

I'm done with CRTs.  Tomorrow's my mini-musical.

[where did the time go?!]

All there is left of Junior High is:

Mini Musical

"Variety" Show

5K

LAGOON DAY

Yearbook Day

Five Days.  Do you know until what?

My Biggest Problem: Being Confident.

Do you know how long it's been since I was last held?  Not hugged by a friend, but held?  I don't need boys.  I am independent.  But it would be nice, sometimes.
Love, Laura.