Me last year is downright depressing.

Thank the heavens I have changed so much.

Sorry you all had to know me when that went down--

I am so happy to be where I am,

I am so happy to have regained friends I thought I lost,

I am so happy to have made such a great new friend,

I am so happy I have great plans tomorrow,

I am so happy that I dance,

I am so happy that I love,

I am so happy I'm alive.

So much love,
Laura.

Birthdays.

The last fourty four minutes of being fourteen.

Fourteen brought me...insanity.  Last year on my birthday, I danced with Voldemort.  We had a big thing going on then.  Later, I had my first kiss while fourteen.  My first breakup, my first heartbreak.

I've gained so many amazing friends, and lost a few as well.  I'd like to regain a couple of those.  One in particular.

I've loved so much, I've cried so much.  I've laughed, I've frowned, I've smiled and danced and fell and got on my feet again and again.

I broke my first bone.

So here's to fourteen.

And here's to fifteen!!

So, so, so much love,
Laura.

If you don't have something to stand for, you'll fall for anything.

Dance is what keeps me going.

Dance is what I live for.

Thank you for last night, Ms. Dani.

Lots of Love,
StarFish.

Everyone dies, but not everyone lives.

"The first time I saw you smile,

My eyes said: She's beautiful..

My brain said: jakllj;ljijerloafjolfkjld

My heart said: Dibs."

-letters to crushes

When I read that, my heart melted.  Literally.

Honestly?  Winning me over is so incredibly easy.  If only there were a guy who would want to know that.

...I hate boys.

I fear of not living.

Love, Starfish.

A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not why ships were built.

There is a point in time when you know you must move forward.  Until you hit that point, you will live your life half alive.  There are times when you are lost and you believe there is only one person that can help you through.  Until you realize that person is yourself, you will remain lost.

There are times when everything is relentless.  When you are never enough.

There are times when you will be sad.  When, as much as you struggle, you cannot get your head above that line.

There are times when life isn't fair.  When no matter what you do, you cannot do anything right.

But there is a point in time when you know you must move forward.  There is a point in time you can believe fully in the choice you make and you will follow it through.



"You're".  But it's fine.

 

With my everlasting Love,

StarFish.

April Showers Bring May Flowers.

I love April for it's weather and all the performances and my BIRTHDAY and how it's the second to last month of school. (I don't count June.)  New this year:  I am so different than I was last year.

I highly dislike April for all it's stress and how I can't stop getting older (even if I wanted to.  Which eventually I will I'm sure) and how it will inevitably snow and ruin the Springiness and how it means there's at least a-whole-nother month before Summer vacation.  New this year:  The memories of everything last year at this time.

I find it funny that everything about April has a positive and a negative side.

Dang.  I need some more dresses. (:

Love, StarFish.

You know something's up when you start comparing love to math.

Math is confusing.

Sometimes you have both sides of the equation so you go about solving it, and when you finally do you could jump for joy and everything is just so happy and beautiful.  Then you plug it in and for some reason it doesn't work so you go about solving it again and you come up with the same thing again.  This time, instead of being happy, you feel frusterated and sad that you can't get it to change.  Then you finally figure out what you were doing wrong.  And that process goes on forever.  Until you finally find the right answer.

Sometimes you don't have both sides.  You only have the confused side, the side that doesn't just tell you what it is.  You spend so long and you finally figure out what's on the other side but how are you supposed to know if it's right or not?  You don't, usually.  Sometimes it is.  See paragraph one.

You know that problem that everyone has seen?  Where when you simplify it down, it goes to i<3u?  Well, sometimes love is just simplifying things down too.  It really all depends on the problem.  Or the person.

sorry about the math analogy.

Love, StarFish.

oh, how times have changed.

Well, this is it.  The one we've all been waiting for.


Blog Post Numero Un Hundredo.
--lauranese for Number One Hundred.  Just in case you don't know the language yet.


When I started this blog, I was definitely a different person.  I was still infatuated with Voldemort and didn't quite have any support with that yet.  I hadn't broken my foot yet.  I remember the day that Stevie and I decided to make blogs, inspired by Addy's.  I remember wondering if I would actually keep up with it.  I remember wanting Voldemort to know all my feelings still, hoping they would persuade him back to me [I also remember regretting telling him the address later on].


I can tell you the last post I ever wrote while still being infatuated with Voldemort.
--does calling him Voldemort make me immature?  Eh.


In celebration of this hundredeth [?] post, I'm going to write you a list.  One hundred things I love.  You see, it's somewhat of a tradition with me to keep up a list of things I love, and add to it whenever I think of something.  I'm quite sure it has more than one hundred things on it but I guess we'll see, hmm?  I won't include people unless I have to.  So if you're not on there, no worries.  I still love you.

One Hundred Things I Love:

1. Life
2. Dance
3. Smiles
4. Happiness
5. Charlie Brown
6. Photography
7. Cameras
8. Teddy Bears
9. Rainbows
10. Snow
11. Chocolate
12. Lollipops
13. Food
14. Christmas
15. Dances
16. Friends
17. Family
18. Drama
19. Music
20. Pencils
21. Sparkles
22. Fireworks
23. Presents
24. Travelling
25. Paper
26. Psych
27. Mailboxes
28. Grilled Cheese Sandwhiches
29. Candy Canes
30. Laptops
31. Color
32. Flowers
33. Rain
34. The Sun
35. The Moon
36. Stars
37. Blankets
38. Beds
39. Pillows
40. Pointe Shoes
41. Pajamas
42. iPods
43. Theater
44. Earrings
45. Necklaces
46. God
47. Ballet
48. Candy Corn
49. Jeans
50. Nail polish
51. Mail
52. Cinnamon Rolls
53. Bananas
54. Fruit
55. Juice
56. Smoothies
57. Milkshakes
58. Quotes
59. Books
60. Reading
61. Texting
62. Toast
63. Parites
64. Birthdays
65. Cookie Dough
66. Nannies
67. Songs
68. Songwriting
69. Guitars
70. Boys
71. Poetry
72. Harry Potter
73. Cursive
74. Nickelback
75. Cinderella
76. Fairytales
77. Disney
78. Rollercoasters
79. Australia
80. France
81. Mist
82. Clothes
83. Rainboots
84. Beads
85. Owls
86. Nature
87. Umbrellas
88. Purses/bags
89. Sunglasses
90. Swimming
91. Slides
92. Diving Boards
93. Monkeys
94. Tutus
95. Dream Catchers
96. Mickey Mouse
97. Aladdin
98. Baseball
99. People
100. Love.

There you have it.  100 things I love.  Of course I love a lot more than that.  But those are just things that came to my mind and I wrote down.  Happy Hundred Post day, my dear followers/readers.

Lots of Love,
StarFish.

ps. Zak, I love you bud. You're awesome and amazing and incredibly strong.



UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Thanks a lot Janessa.  See if I ever tag you again for anything.
Here we go. AGAIN.  Sorry if I repeat anything.

1.  I am a firm believer in Karma.
2.  My first memory is of the cat that I still have and love streaking by my two year old body when we first got him [and his sister sundance. But she's dead. ): ]
3.  I was born in Highlands Ranch, Colorado.  Had I stayed I would've gone to Mountain Ridge Junior High.
4.  I love photography and I love being photographed.
5.  I'm not hugged as often as I'd like to be.  Then again, when is anyone?
6.  I look for a face I've never seen before in the hallways of my school.
7.  I have my own language.  It's called Lauranese.  Not pronounced Laur-an-ess [coughbraedoncough] but Laura-knees.
8. I have always loved stuffed animals.  I used to have this little elephant I carried around everywhere.  My mom has a picture of me carrying it with a binky hanging out of my mouth like I'm a little elephant too.
8a.  I think I was one of the cutest little girls ever.  Just saying.
9.  One of my favorite things to do when I have nothing else to do is look through my photo albums.  I love them.
10.  I'm cursing Janessa's name as I write this.
11.  I've always wanted to go to the Amazon.  And Australia.  I love nature.  I really love kangaroos.
12.  My top two favorite accents are English [like, British English, not sloppy I-don't-pronounce-the-"t's"-in-my-words American English] and Australian.
13.  My mom ordered me a new bed today.  I'm kinda sad because I've had this same bed ever since I got into a bed and out of a crib.  Furthermore it used to be like my great grandpa's or something.  But she isn't getting me a new one because this one is cracking and breaking.  No, she's getting it so she can force me out of it when people come stay at our house this spring for Alex's graduation.
14.  I often make up my own superstitions.
15.  I often have very vivid and terrifying nightmares.  Often, they are someone that antagonizes me killing the people that I love.  Not my family usually but other people.  It's kinda really scary.

There.  I won't tag anyone this time out of fear of being tagged again [coughJANESSAcough].

Love [to everyone but janessa],
StarFish.