525,600 minutes.

Smile more, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.

 

 

Take chances, you guys. Stop telling yourself it's okay to be down because we're in the blue months and just be happy again because snow is actually really fun and the cold is fleeting. You don't have to be at the beach or pool or out of school to be happy, honestly. Just be happy. Don't get too stressed about grades, please, stop that. If an A- doesn't kill me, it won't kill you. Ditto for Bs and Cs. Oh, and stop stressing about drama that will eventually pass anyway. Boys suck, I get it. I understand. It's okay. We have so much life in front of us that he will soon be one tiny inkspill on one, maybe two pages. This is high school. Nothing lasts forever that starts today, unless you really want it to. When I say that, I mean friendships and good times, but it's also true for the bad times, too. Things will last a lot longer if you keep putting so much energy into them, so stop it. You're only tiring yourself. Oh, and stop believing you have to be like everyone else. You really don't. Be yourself. It's enough, really, it is. Stop telling yourself you aren't beautiful, in fact, the opposite is true. It's so exhausting to always be putting yourself down, so just stop, please. You have 525,600 minutes every year, and every minute you spend being sad is a minute you could've been happy. It's okay to be sad sometimes, but you gotta make up for those minutes lost.

 

And if you take anything away from this post, make it this: Stop doing your homework sometimes. Not too often, and not a lot, but really. Find something better to do with your time sometimes. It isn't the end of the world. Take it from me.

 

love always, laura elizabeth.



Friday Man.

It's like Christmas, you know? It's like the beautiful, warm Christmas where the gifts you receive are emotional instead of physical. And if it's Christmas, you're my Santa Claus.

Love,

you're like a Fireworks Stand

in July

you're like school shopping

in August

you're like stargazing

in September

you're like a costume shop

in October

you're like a prayer

in November

you're like a stocking

in December

you're like a kiss at midnight

in January

you're like Harts' hot chocolate

in February

you're like a Friday

in March

you're like pointe shoes

in April

you're like Memorial Day

in May

but mostly

you're like a day in June.

June holds beautiful oppurtunities, where you don't regret, where you live life.

June looks beautiful, June smells beautiful, June feels beautiful.

My love for you is June.

love always, laura elizabeth.

post script: I feel like a drive-in theater is just a big excuse to make out with someone in a car.

...

why don't they still exist??

High School and Futility.

Hope Springs Eternal.

When are, when were, when will be your glory days?

Think about it.

My glory days... They started when, in that huge room with 27 different drama departments sitting on the edge of their seats (well, okay. Seven of them were on the edge of their seats. The other twenty were probably about to fall asleep), the man with the microphone said "American Fork High School" and we all stood up and screamed and Addy cried and Lone Peak clapped for us and I was a part of it. My glory days continued closing night of Footloose, when I cried because I love them all so much and because I was a part of it.

My glory days, they aren't just filled with clapping and tears, they're filled with autumn light and winter light and summer light but mostly, spring light, because that is my favorite light of all. They continue when I'm in Ballet at the barre and I feel strong and on top of the world. My glory days, more than any other, happen every day, doing all my usual pastimes and hobbies and whatever else I do, because I'm alive and these are my glory days, because even the sad days are glory days,

and I'm not so sad anymore.

love always, laura elizabeth.



The Pursuit of Happiness.

That's it, then.

I guess what I'm saying is, the wallpaper of my phone has been changed, the heart's taken off his name. I spent homework Tuesday with Justyn and her friends and got a ride home with Marley.

It was clean, naturally, I'd have expected nothing less from the two of us. It's probably my fault, but it's probably both of our faults, but actually it's no one's fault that we aren't right for each other, who knows why I insist on still wearing the locket every day?

I know it was right, it just comes and goes, like "Oh I'll be fine, I'm great, I have people and happiness" then "Oh did I just make a huge mistake" to my heart still jumping in my throat when his name pops up anywhere. But it's only been a day, after all, that's to be expected, even when I most brought it on, even though it's probably my fault.
"So, what's up?"
"Oh, just the unusual."

I guess what I'm really saying is, even the cleanest break up can hurt like hell.

but, it's fine.

--laura elizabeth.

Weekends.

It was a long weekend without him, but it wasn't boring.

Honestly, it was a Connor weekend.

It was an Amy weekend, and a Melissa weekend, and a Ben weekend, and a Kristen Parker weekend.

It wasn't the weekend that I would have chosen first, maybe, but that doesn't mean it wasn't great.

It's good to remember that he isn't my life, all the time, always.

Friday night, before things were good, I was doubting it. Being absolutely and inexcusably ignored has never had any advantages, besides the fact that when someone pays attention to you, it feels even better. Which is exactly what happened. Someone I look up to, someone I love, someone I think is absolutely incredible and honestly I've always wanted to be an important friend of, spent almost two hours of ignoring me, of making me feel stupid, unwanted, her and her two friends, sitting and taking pictures and giggling, me, sitting unnoticed, ignored. Ignored. No one should ever feel ignored, especially not publicly, don't ignore people. But after the show, when I got to who I wanted to get to, it was all worth it, and I love this girl so much. She's tiny, colombian, beautiful, and incredible. Shout out to miss Amy, whom we are all quite obsessed with. Funny how life is, when she used to intimidate me, with her beauty and popularity, now she's turned into a saving grace of a Friday night. And then at his house, him and his charm and his awkward dancing and his comfortability, it was comfortable. These people were comfortable, and the night was comfortable, and no one even remembered I was a sophomore.

Melissa Saturday. Waffle saturday, pokemon Saturday (Connor Saturday!), Footloose Saturday, cake Saturday, dessert Saturday, tired Saturday. Tired Saturday, tired two weeks, mononucleosis. Did I mention I have mononucleosis? Well, I have mononucleosis.

It was a missing him weekend, to be honest, I miss him. I miss him more than I thought. I've realized a lot about our relationship and honestly, I don't want him any other way.

"And the fight for you is all I've ever known, so come home."

But Connor, and Amy, and Melissa, you three especially, thank you for this weekend. It was good, it was so lovely, I feel comfortable, you people are comfortable.

love always, laura elizabeth.

ps. To the person I was sitting by, if you even read this, which I really doubt because I'm starting to realize that I'm not worth your time (despite it all, despite it all), I still think you're an incredible person, and I would go to your funeral if you did die tomorrow. I'm sure you'd come to mine, too, and tell everyone what great friends we were and how great you thought I was, but I'm also sure you wouldn't remember me being next to you at that show. I'm sure you wouldn't remember ignoring me. And that makes some difference, anyway, to me.

I'd stop the world and melt with you.

To put things lightly, he got the jar down for me (the few inches he has on me being all that was needed to reach that high shelf in my soul) and even unscrewed the top I put on so forcefully.

And they were delicious, of course.  Every chocolate chip "remember when" and all the same whirlwind feelings of September 24 baked into the dough.
did you feel the breath when I mouthed those three words into your neck?
Sorry for the absence, those who care.

"Owls and Tacos.  Life is good."

love always, laura elizabeth.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.

Life is frittered away by detail.  Simplify.  Simplify.

-Thoreau

Let's just step back and acknowledge the fact that chocolate and caramel can be successfully combined.

Let's just step back and acknowledge that books can be re-read.

Let's just step back and acknowledge that even days you wake up with a migraine on can still be good days.

Let's just step back and acknowledge that Addy is brilliant and beautiful.

Let's just step back and acknowledge that life is brilliant and beautiful.

Let's just step back and acknowledge that tomorrow is the last school day of the year.

Let's just step back and acknowledge that while some things that you wish for, you won't get; but some things you wish for, you will.

Let's just step back and acknowledge that we are blessed.

Let's just step back and acknowledge that healthy can be delicious too.

Let's just step back and acknowledge that even though bad things happen to good people, good things happen to good people too.

Let's step back and realize we are incredible;

We are life itself;

We are beautiful and pure;

We are the actors, and all the world's a stage.

Footloose.

love always, laura elizabeth.

It's okay. I'm okay.

Drew. On thursday, Drew was in those two classes.
He witnessed it all.
He sat by me and put his arm around me and let me put my head on his shoulder and then
later that day
he came by and he asked if I was okay and if I
wanted to talk
and it meant the world and the sun and the stars
to me.

Drew, you are my hero.

It'll be okay if I have Drew and you and Kelsey too.

tap on my window
knock on my door, I
wanna make you feel
beautiful

love laura.

Sometimes I think I can chart my life by what I worry about in the dark of night.

Something special is bound to happen.

Something sad is bound to happen.

Something terrible is bound to happen.

Something frustrating is bound to happen.

Something amazing is bound to happen.

Everyone searches for their own private miracle.
We all search for something supernatural,
or incredible,
or unexpected and welcomed.

What most don't realize is
that God gives us a miracle every day.
It's called waking up.

It's called family,
it's called friends.
It's called food and pillows
and limbs and words
and senses and nature
and teddy bears.
It's called books and clothes
and showers and paper.


There's this book I read every now and then,
It's called "Before I Fall."
[Somehow, it's 480 pages are so much easier and quicker to read than the 149 pages of the book I'm supposed to read.]
It's poetry.
It's poetry in the way that life is poetry,
in the way that life is a miracle.

It makes me laugh and smile and cry and
want to live life to every potential
before I wake up dead.
It makes me appreciate what I have
and realize that it's more than most.
It makes me want to meet myself.

Now, anyone who is up this late reading this,
I challenge you to go to sleep
and wake up, knowing it's the most beautiful day
you've had yet.

After all, if you expect to never wake up again, every morning is a wonderful surprise.
Make the most of it.

love, Laura.