Wake Me Up When September Ends.

And boy, am I waking up to a crazy week.

 

 

Life comes at you fast

sometimes, you just need to blink

and let the world change

 

Summer turns to fall

like sunlight will turn to clouds

the rain that will drop

 

And now he's leaving

no one said it'd be easy

I will miss him so

....

 

Lize, this is for you

because I think you're lovely

thank you for reading

 

Mattie, Melissa,

Kelsey, Taft, Teddy, Gretel

And of course, Clark, thanks.

 

Life comes at you fast

but I think we can keep up.

Love always, Laura.

Dreams of Sunshine and You.

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

But here's the thing, I dreamed a dream

I dreamed a dream of the pool

and I dreamed of red hair,

[actually, I dreamed of hair in general, as usual]

and I dreamed of skylines,

and I dreamed of zebras and funny faces,

I dreamed of a blonde mane of not just hair but of her words,

she says they're gone but they aren't

and I never had any anyway, so she shouldn't worry

but here's a good vibration anyway.

I dreamed of people,

and how to let go,

and how to hold on,

and how to do everything in the middle, too.

I dreamed of pounce-ing.

I dreamed in cards, people,

I dreamed in kings and queens and aces,

and I was the little black joker,

and you were the red 8.

I dreamed of cracks;

of sidewalks and my kindle

and the sky, too;

Mostly I dreamed of you.

Remember the beauty from last post? The beauty I have?

I don't care what you believe, for all I know you have it right.

But the beauty I have in my is my little piece of God.

And the reason I know you are beautiful is because you have a piece of Him, too,

because we are actually all God and everything is God

and really God is just the energy that connects us all to each other and everything.

[it's called Pantheism.]

So sorry for when I yell at you to stop littering,

because really,

I'm just giving back.

Addy, when you find your words [they wouldn't go far]

feel free to loan some to me.

love always, laura elizabeth.



Weekends.

It was a long weekend without him, but it wasn't boring.

Honestly, it was a Connor weekend.

It was an Amy weekend, and a Melissa weekend, and a Ben weekend, and a Kristen Parker weekend.

It wasn't the weekend that I would have chosen first, maybe, but that doesn't mean it wasn't great.

It's good to remember that he isn't my life, all the time, always.

Friday night, before things were good, I was doubting it. Being absolutely and inexcusably ignored has never had any advantages, besides the fact that when someone pays attention to you, it feels even better. Which is exactly what happened. Someone I look up to, someone I love, someone I think is absolutely incredible and honestly I've always wanted to be an important friend of, spent almost two hours of ignoring me, of making me feel stupid, unwanted, her and her two friends, sitting and taking pictures and giggling, me, sitting unnoticed, ignored. Ignored. No one should ever feel ignored, especially not publicly, don't ignore people. But after the show, when I got to who I wanted to get to, it was all worth it, and I love this girl so much. She's tiny, colombian, beautiful, and incredible. Shout out to miss Amy, whom we are all quite obsessed with. Funny how life is, when she used to intimidate me, with her beauty and popularity, now she's turned into a saving grace of a Friday night. And then at his house, him and his charm and his awkward dancing and his comfortability, it was comfortable. These people were comfortable, and the night was comfortable, and no one even remembered I was a sophomore.

Melissa Saturday. Waffle saturday, pokemon Saturday (Connor Saturday!), Footloose Saturday, cake Saturday, dessert Saturday, tired Saturday. Tired Saturday, tired two weeks, mononucleosis. Did I mention I have mononucleosis? Well, I have mononucleosis.

It was a missing him weekend, to be honest, I miss him. I miss him more than I thought. I've realized a lot about our relationship and honestly, I don't want him any other way.

"And the fight for you is all I've ever known, so come home."

But Connor, and Amy, and Melissa, you three especially, thank you for this weekend. It was good, it was so lovely, I feel comfortable, you people are comfortable.

love always, laura elizabeth.

ps. To the person I was sitting by, if you even read this, which I really doubt because I'm starting to realize that I'm not worth your time (despite it all, despite it all), I still think you're an incredible person, and I would go to your funeral if you did die tomorrow. I'm sure you'd come to mine, too, and tell everyone what great friends we were and how great you thought I was, but I'm also sure you wouldn't remember me being next to you at that show. I'm sure you wouldn't remember ignoring me. And that makes some difference, anyway, to me.