Showing posts with label stevie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stevie. Show all posts

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Every Summer Has A Story.

There's gotta be somebody for me out there.






 What's funny about saying that, the Summer and the Story and everything,

is that last year,
the Summer's story was about trying to get to know him,
and this year,
it's about trying to get over him.

it's funny how much changes in a year,
and the year is about to start again,
what plot twist is coming?

Here's a secret or two about what might change.

I'm scared of not being asked to the dances (call me lame. I just don't want to feel like I'm back tracking from this past year).
I'm scared every time that I work podium that he will come in with a date.
I'm scared that Stevie will move in with Russell and forget about me.
I'm scared that Connor will go on his mission and come back and not even remember me because it feels like we only just became friends.
I'm scared that Justyn and I will become estranged again.
I'm scared that I won't ever see Kristen, or Eliza, or Amy, or any of the other seniors again.
and the list goes on.

m;zlsk jvkeklrms;lkgjdlihsjlkmcklsnhljflkjalkejgk;ljdlkjklcm,l;ieutoiyer jlskjgoiejlakeoiwtew mljncskghouihehoiajflkahlkjf.
(Greetings from the land where all feelings fly out of your body and onto the keyboard in a jumbled mess.)

love always, laura elizabeth.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

As the days go by.

Because, when you get to the root of it, starting over scares me just as much as letting go.







I'm afraid of them, because I'm not good at either.
Just like I can't let go of Connor, going on a mission,
or Eliza, going to college,
or Stevie, moving on in life,
or Kelsie, getting married,
I can't let go of a boy I've loved
(in various degrees, obviously)
for a year now.
Can't I let go,
don't I want to? Shouldn't I?
Shouldn't I be excited to start over?
Always, the terrible truth of the lack of fighting,
That inharmonious voice that whispers hopeless hopes in the night,

the words and thoughts that spin a web around my heart
holding it together but also restricting it.

Is the idea of ending up alone more terrifying
than the idea of starting over?
I'd rather not care if it always ends like this,
but better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
And the melancholic words keep rolling out, faithless as sin
while he breathes in a different story, now,
while he exists to someone, someones else,
while he thinks of everything but me.
The difference being, of course,
that Connor was always going to go on a mission
and Eliza was always going to go to college
and Stevie was always going to move on in life
and Kelsie was always going to have to leave,
He was the one I thought I could so easily hold on to
without using my hands. Of course, that didn't work,
the new question being,
"Laura, how will you ever grab elsewhere when you're holding on here so tightly?"
the answer being, of course, that I couldn't.
How do I let go, how do I start over?

"It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I would shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed."
-Billy Collins, "On Turning Ten"

But, life goes on, my grip slackens,
it will all be okay,
the days go by so fast and soon there won't be so much time to think and weep.
So take me to the carnival, sleep under the stars,
and enjoy this July in the rain.

love always, laura elizabeth.


Sunday, October 2, 2011

Fluffy.

Once upon a time, there was a lonely old lady named Laura.

She lived a sad, lonely life, living in a little house. Alone.

Then one day [actually, three separate days in September],

three lovely cats were born and moved into her life

and her life wasn't lonely anymore.

Their names were Janessa, Stevie, and Kelsey.

The end.







So, maybe it doesn't make sense.  That's okay.
Happy September birthdays.  Sorry this post isn't split into three
and personal
and actually...good posts.
And sorry those hypothetical three posts
weren't posted on the actual birthdays.
And sorry I compared you to cats.
But I really like cats and I really like you guys
so I thought it worked.
Thanks for putting up with my crazy, you guys.
I dunno who would if you didn't.


Also, once upon two o'clock today,
we got a little kitten.
He's probably the cutest thing on the planet, currently.
I've personally named him fluffy,
after the three headed dog.

love, laura.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Glee birds fly together.

I love owls.
I love dance.
I love Harry Potter.
I love teddy bears.
I love rainbows.
I love people.
I love mascara.
I love Valentine's Day.
I love holidays.
I love books.
I love clipfolios.
I love love.
I love friends.
I love flowers.
I love light.
I love dolphins.
I love legs.
I love eyes.
I LOVE OWLS SO MUCH.
I love popcorn.
I love cotton candy.
I love carnivals
and bowling
and movies
and
I love taco bell.
I love dream catchers
and costumes
and musicals
and purses
and necklaces
and necklaces shaped like owls.
I love  music and sunglasses.
I love chapstick
and I love pointe shoes.
I love piggy banks.
I love pokemon.
I love scripts.
I love french.
I love psych.
I love outside.
I love inside.
I love butterflies.
I love photo albums.
I love pictures.
I love photography.
I love myself.
I love bobby pins.
I love my family.
I love all of you.
I love stars.
I love the moon.
I love mars, and jupiter, when they are flying above our heads.
I love inside jokes.
I love chloe
and kelsey
and stevie
and trevor and bridger and makenzie and daenen
and megan and courtney
and even maybe jake pace
and I love janessa.
I love pillows.
I love quarters.
I love collections.
I love dresses and rompers.
I love dreaming.
I love typing.
I love birds.
I love animals.
I love owls.
I love fairytales.
I love feathers.
I love fruit.
I love paper.
I love summer.
I love spring.
I love winter.
I love fall.
I love memories.
I love telephones.
I love big words.
I love grammar.
I love hearts.
I love psychology.
I love bare feet.
I love glee.
I love surprises.
I love parties.
I love food.
I love chips and salsa.
I love lips and relationships and weddings
and crushes and boyfriends
and hugs.
I love butterfly kisses and eskimo kisses
and dinosaur kisses.
I love pretzels and goldfish [the kind you eat].
I love water.
I love roses.
I love 11:11.
I love lists.
I love living.
I love life.





Just 111 things that I love, and that was the abridged version.

Love, Laura.

ps. I really love owls.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

let's run away to neverland, we will leave all our fans, 'cause growing up...it hurts.

So after what seems like forever of taking notes on a dumb handbook and reading a book that continually causes me to feel depressed, but forcing myself to read it anyway so it'll be done before it has to be, my head is spinning with the lyrics that my best friend plucked from the stars and my eyes are brimming with what can only be loneliness, regret, or the feeling that I am not enough.  After writing a long post filled with self-pity and sadness, however, I feel drained and silly.  Who am I to complain when I have a roof over my head and food to eat?  So I deleted all the words I wrote and decided to write some different ones instead.

School starts in a week.  I'm less than excited.

Goodnight.






Unfortunately, something I can't ignore is that there are still so many things left on my Summer bucket list.  A couple of them are things I can't do myself.  Why I put things on there that are completely up to others was stupid and I have no idea why I did it but I did and now I have to face the disappointment.  I hate not finishing things.

But tomorrow I will put on a brave face and go and sing for an hour.  I will go and finally do something I have been putting off since my birthday.  I will waste as much time that is left, and then I will go and be my best friend's biggest fan.

Love, Laura.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Independance is a state of mind.

The most amazing sight is looking up and having colors blasting your sky into a million pieces for one perfect moment, and then having another one come again.  The most amazing feeling is the anticipation of seeing a light streak through the air, and then feeling the sight resonate deep into my bones.

Don't take your freedom for granted.






There ain't no doubt
I love this land
God bless the USA.

Love, Laura.

Post Script:  Thank you to everyone who made my fourth so fantastic.  It was the best of my memory, thanks you you all. So much love.