Too late to be awake but too early to fall asleep.

Bear with me through this next post, please.

Imagine this with me, for a moment:

You're in a room with a big present.  It's shiny and awesome and just the size and shape of something you really really want.  So you grab hold of it with both hands and keep it there for a while.  However, you're not completely sure what's inside, and it won't ...tell you...what it is... [stay with me here].  Nevertheless, you keep holding on because you're pretty sure it's what you want.

Then, for three days, you put it down and forget about it.  You go into a new room with a couple new presents that are very different than the first one, but really great too.  There's one in particular that really catches your eye and all the other presents are urging you to choose it instead of the first present [suspend your disbelief a little longer].  You're not sure, because you remember how great you think the first one is, even though you're a little distracted now because of this new present.  So you sort of kick it along back with you after the three days are up and you have to go back to the original room, which is same as always, with that big shiny present... Except now, there's a new present in there with you.

Anyway.  You take back hold of the first present, though very hesitantly this time.  In fact, one hand remains off and possibly stretched slightly towards the new present.  You stay like this, in this uncertain lingo of sorts, for another couple of weeks.  Finally, you tell the first present that it needs to make up it's mind and tell you what it is.  So finally it says that it isn't REALLY what you thought it was, it was just making itself up as it went along.  Also, it said that it didn't really want anyone opening it for a while.

You would expect yourself to feel disappointed, right?  You know you would've been if it hadn't been for those three days without it.  Suddenly you realize it isn't the only present in the house, and there's this other really great one.  This present that's probably too good for you anyway, that you don't deserve.  Anyway, the point is, it was a lot easier for you to let go of the present when you only had one hesitant hand holding on, than it would've been if you still had both hands firmly placed around it.  Do you see what I mean?

Guys, it's fine.  The first present is a really great present and we can still be...um, friends.  I just sort of have my attention on a new present now.  It's fine.  I'm fine.

love always, laura.